You can have it all.....

Hot Mama, you can indeed have it all.  The successful career, fulfilling goals and dreams as well as still being the fantastic care giver you have always been to your children.

As a mother myself, I know that taking care of my family is a top priority and for a long time I was scared to things for me in case my children slipped down the priority list.  Newsflash…. This doesn’t happen by itself…

I was scared to try new things because I thought that if my children didn’t have every moment of my undivided attention, even if they were off doing other things, I would be failing them and me.

How wrong was I? So wrong… When I decided to do little things for me, which made me feel good, this good feeling permeated the home and the relationship with my children.  I felt a little lighter and brighter. The reason for this was that I was a little more satisfied. Unbeknown to me it was a small act of self-love. 

When I decided to embark on a total change of career, it took a lot of courage, lots of tears and support from others who knew I could be self-employed and still be a fab mother.  I wrestled the desire in my heart against the negative self-talk that always wanted me to stay the same, not to venture out, to accept my lot and allow my dreams and desire to wither away.   All I knew was that doing my 9-5 job was becoming more and more challenging; my true talents were not being used consistently.  I felt most alive at work when I was mentoring or organising social events, where I felt I was making a positive difference in people’s lives. I wanted to do this full-time and get paid for it.

Once I set my intention, a lot of help came my way. Friends and family were supportive. I found networking groups that offered support. I didn’t suddenly resign my position at work, but I began to really explore what I wanted to do, set some goals and put some plans in place. I wasn’t sure when I was going to leave my job, but I trusted that it would be at the right time…

The right time happened when I got made redundant. I wasn’t surprised because spiritually and emotionally I had resigned a long time ago.  I had a bit of a buffer; I could live off my redundancy for about a year…. I was scared witless, but I owed it to me to give it a shot. Did I love myself enough to do this for myself? In all the planning and researching and goal setting I did, I saw this as an act of self-love because I had to ensure that I had enough of the moving parts in place for me to continue to be a fantastic mother to my boys.  In no way were they to be negatively impacted for my decision to ‘go it alone’.  It was like I had to make sure my reserves of self-love were overflowing to ensure that this flowed to my boys. It wasn’t about just going to the gym, putting on my make-up but it was deeper than that, did I love myself enough to listen to the whispers of my heart. Did I love myself enough to take me where I felt I deserved to be? Did I love myself enough to live with purpose?  Did I love myself enough to be true to me and stop hiding behind the role of motherhood?

I took the time to define the prize. I embarked on this new journey, keeping my eye just not on the end goal, but on the little steps along the way.  I celebrated each step I made and the challenges I overcame.  I embraced my fears by talking about them during networking. I involved my children as much as I could. Their support was a key part to my success. I ran things by them, sought their opinion when it was appropriate.  My children were proud of me and that helped to keep me going when I wondered what the hell I was doing….  I was showing my children that there was another way, that they could pursue their dreams. I was giving them a valuable lesson that wasn’t taught in school, I was teaching them to break the mould, that going after their dream was a beautiful act of self-love. I was being a trailblazer for my children and most importantly I was my mojo back. I was a hot, fulfilled Mama, living a life on and with purpose. 

We were all happy.